Set the Time Out Chicago website’s record for pageviews. For real.

A lot of people hated the Cubs’ new mascot, Clark. They were dumb.

My get-rich-quick scheme selling Hee Seop Choi t-shirts didn’t quite work out. But did I break even? YES.

I wrote about rock mascots for the Flaming Lips, Pink Floyd, and — of course — Iron Maiden.

Take up two seats at the theater? Taxed. Take too long in line at Jewel? Taxed.

I get the chance to vent my spleen about the Chicago White Sox. I’m not a fan.